And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
