im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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