Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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