call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
