I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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