i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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