Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
