1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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