is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
third nipple confirmed
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
