I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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