Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
