apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
