take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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