I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
