That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
