i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
