you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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