I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
