The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
