Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
