Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Someone came in the potted fern
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
