ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
