Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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