How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
