weddingsv make me drug and hornr
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
