I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I could fuck to npr.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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