yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
