so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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