did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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