I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
