remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
