Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
