I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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