Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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