Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
