I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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