we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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