What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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