Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
