guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
