OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
