Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize