So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
im on a boat
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