Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
