turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
