I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
