i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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