nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Randomize
