no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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