okay pat passed out under dana's car
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
