well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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