i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The air was thick with penises
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
