i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
