Your dad touched me again.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
